Slightly Ridiculous

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Fri, 17 May 2013 16:18:31 -0400

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Fri, 17 May 2013 08:26:49 -0400

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Sun, 12 May 2013 13:02:18 -0400

the millennial problem:

Sun, 12 May 2013 12:56:25 -0400

gyzym:

two millennials are barreling towards adulthood at 95 miles per hour. one of them has been coated with the most extravagant paint money can buy, but their steering apparatus is locked up until that coat’s paid off; the other’s brakes have been ripped out mid-trip, the thief yelling, “what, did you think you were entitled to these?” over their shoulder. half the tracks have been torn away to build second, third, and fifth garages for trains that are no longer running. solve for x.

tell me again how the song goes — i’m so inadequate i might forget. if we’re not informed enough then we’re apathetic morons, but if we’re too informed we’re oversensitive reactionaries; if we think we deserve more then we’re narcissistic cutthroats, but if we’re happy where we are then we’re passionless layabouts. if we’re making money then we’re materialistic automatons who only care about stuff and don’t value the important things in life, but if we’re broke then we’re disgusting, spoiled children who expect everything in life to be a handout. if we spend too much time with technology then we’re antisocial, soulless zombies who spell the end for human interaction as we know it, but if we spend too much time together we’re a dangerous, unstable element who should get real jobs already. we’re a disgrace; we’re a embarrassment; we’re a mistake; we’re a disappointment; we’re not what you wanted, however you slice it, and all of it’s our fault, right? right? oh, god, am i getting the melody wrong?

here’s what i propose, everyone who wants to open their twenty-four-hour news cycles or their pork-barrel mouths, who wants to use their filthy fucking hands to tear this generation a new one: you try it. you come up with a picture of the generation you seem to want: one that’s neither apathetic nor engaged, one that’s neither ambitious nor content, one that’s neither rich nor poor, one that’s neither technologically connected nor interpersonally involved. don’t forget to factor in the variables — the years of economic instability; the globalization of everything from communication to art; the hugely stratified individual experiences we’ve had based on things like race, sexuality, gender, and socioeconomics, on things that come with whole histories of systemic bullshit; the overwhelming burden of student debt that so many of us face; the fact that hindsight is 20/20. you write the formula for the millennial that will shut you the fuck up about all the things we should be and aren’t, about all the ways we’ve failed you, and then you bring it to me. i promise you, i will try it. anything for a little peace and quiet, right? anything to stop hearing it everywhere i go: that voice saying that, at twenty-three, i might already have flunked out of life.

(both millennials crash, spectacularly and yelling for help, into the station that never built a platform for them to pull into. onlookers stand by and shake their heads, wondering about the deplorable state of trains today. that’s what happens when nobody does the fucking math.)

Watching Katie play Journey. She’s been with the same person the whole time and they must have...

Fri, 10 May 2013 21:01:57 -0400

Watching Katie play Journey. She’s been with the same person the whole time and they must have just stopped playing or something because they sat down and then dissolved into the earth.

Katie is inconsolable. She keeps saying “we were in love,” and wont leave the spot where her friend “died”

Sketching at ClubStreet (by PaulArtSG)

Fri, 10 May 2013 12:50:43 -0400

Sketching at ClubStreet (by PaulArtSG)

what she says: i'm fine

Fri, 10 May 2013 12:30:27 -0400

what she says: i'm fine
what she means: the bourgeoisie is just as necessary a precondition for the socialist revolution as is the proletariat itself.

"Tumblr? I hardly know her!"

Thu, 09 May 2013 00:20:33 -0400

“Tumblr? I hardly know her!”

Exams are over. Im on a comfy couch with an alpaca blanket, drinking red wine by a fire, about to...

Sun, 05 May 2013 17:45:27 -0400

Exams are over. Im on a comfy couch with an alpaca blanket, drinking red wine by a fire, about to eat a steak.

Not too shabby.

Arugula is like the annoying cousin of salad greens. You have to include him, because he’s...

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:04:24 -0400

Arugula is like the annoying cousin of salad greens. You have to include him, because he’s family, but you aren’t going to enjoy it.

Ego boost!

Wed, 01 May 2013 16:36:33 -0400

May 1st must be the day for big news

- Found out I got a stipend from the university for my internship this summer! Yay!

- Also heard back from two other places I had applied to a few months ago, seeing if I was still interested. I politely declined since I already have something lined up, but it’s nice to know that I was qualified for an interview!

furiousfurious: (via UNICEF Tells Slacktivists: Give Money, Not...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 22:10:17 -0400

furiousfurious:

(via UNICEF Tells Slacktivists: Give Money, Not Facebook Likes - Olga Khazan - The Atlantic)

UNICEF tells you where to put your Facebook likes.

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Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:11:58 -0400

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Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:22:00 -0400

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Tue, 30 Apr 2013 13:43:26 -0400

How to be classy in three easy steps:

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 00:44:53 -0400

bambi-bird:

Open this tab.

Open this tab.

Open this tab.

Congrats on your internship!

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 23:07:06 -0400

Thanks same to you!! ^.^

did you know how hilarious the patch notes to the sims are

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 19:06:00 -0400

flatluigi:

A faint line is no longer visible on the heads of babies.

Fish are no longer duplicated in the fridge when moving homes.

Sims can no longer “Try for Baby” with the Grim Reaper.

Sims who are on fire will no longer be forced to attend graduation before they can put themselves out.

Children and Teens can no longer die from motive failure while on a Time Out.

Pianists will no longer continue playing pianos that have been detonated.

Sims will no longer receive a wish to “Skinny Dip” with Mummies.

Pregnant Sims can no longer “Brawl.”

Sims can no longer WooHoo in the Elevator with a Sim who is on a different floor.

Fixed an issue that caused Sims to leave their Toddler inside a bar at closing time.

The Grim Reaper will no longer be prevented from reaping souls due to band affiliation.

Kleptomaniac Sims can no longer steal Subway stations from lots.

Fixed a tuning issue so that Sims now vomit at acceptable levels.

The magical laundry bear Abracadabra will no longer block Sims from moving after disappearing

Tourist NPCs can now be impregnated.

another one!

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:01:00 -0400

This one’s about drinking on the cruise he’s taking us on later this summer

Subject: on board liquid

“go to booked guests…indulgences…book….booking number and name……….indulgences…beverages…etc. soft drinks..hidden at the bottm of drink card is a $50 card for $25.. you choose..you pay…or you can wait until on-board and purchase through room service….I will have vodka and gin in my cabin….this for if wanted drinks before some dinners. love”

I'm going to start a tag called #emailsfrommygranddad because they are probably the most entertaining things ever

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 10:41:19 -0400

Here are the first three, presented completely without context

Subject: May 11

“3:45-5:30….I am having Zealan(graduation) and his west coast family of ten for Prosecco and light food. They will be going out for dinner. Invited here from 4-5;30 I am not joining them for dinner.

hIS grandmother went to schoolwith Claire..as was i at the felson wedding..his father dated Jena in high school. Would you care to join the party..and of course help..conversation etc…Let me know Love”

Subject: The Last Message

“the sea is uneven..people unhappy and ill. i amfine. three drawings compled by the timei get off. two good one who knows.i canceled my volcano trip..0nly 20-30 min…for a 7 hr tour..i do not need it…..take care……see you thur????love”

Subject: Hat

“I told Mary Herion that you also would wear a hat….”